poetry of the old girls.


there was an old lady who lived in a shoe
she had so many children she boild them for glue

another old lady she lived in a shed
she wants to have children so she stays in bed

she said perhaps i should go live in a shoe
i said never mind i'll show you what to do...

the naughty old lady who lives on a bog
was having it with everyone even a dog

she was friend swith the lady who lived on a marshe
who told to behave, bluntly and harsh

the lady who lived in the hut on the lake
was very nice, but mostly half baked

the old lady who lived outside on the beach
said leave me alone you son of a bitch

the clever old lady who lives on the sea
hags her arse over the edge when she wants to go pee

the clever old lady who lives on a boat
eats lots of cheese she makse from a goat

the lady who spends all her time on a ship
has run out of money and we dont give a shit!!!

and as for the old lady who lives in a house
she's locked in the toilet, scared by a mouse

and the poor old lady who lives in a shop
has nothing left to sell except a bottle of pop

this little old lady she now lives on the street
with rings on her fingers and shit on her feet

and the lady who says that she lived on wall street
is now in the hospital without any teeth

and the lady whose house is just along broadway
has found a young man, whay hey hey hey...........

a lady who spends all her time on the phone
ignored all the world and has now lost her home!!!

and the lady who says she only does lunch
has lost all she had the whole damn bunch

the lady who was sick with parkinsons disease
has found her a job shaking bottles of peas

the old lady who lived in her car
said its ok my dear if dont go very far

the little old lady who lived in a truck
stayed in the back, she was good for a f--k

the lady who says she was often graped
said ther is a whole buch of them dont be mistaked

the fad old lady who lives on a bus
said theers plenty of seatrs so dont make a fuss

the happy old lady with dirt 'tween her toes
tells wonderful stories wherever she goes

there is an old girl somewhere getting very bored
she smiles at everyone as they go by but very rarely scores

the was a girl who was good on stage and thought she was all the rage
except the world changed quickly and turned another page

ther was a man who loved her, shared everything he got
she punched him in the eye and stole the fucking lot


GUY LAKEMAN FEB 2009


there was a little twit bird
it went tweet-tweet, tweet-tweet
we made a great big bang near it
and it shit apon its feet